What is a difficult or challenging question? Essentially, a question that takes you by surprise, makes you uncomfortable and makes you falter in your response. Sometimes the question is intentionally harsh and critical, other times it just strikes you that way. Sometimes it really boils down to feeling surprised and on-the-spot. It happens, so what to do?

First, recognize if you are having an emotional reaction. You might feel like a deer in the headlight. Your heart may start beating faster. Those are sure signs of a fight, flight or freeze response.

If you feel the fight response, you might show defensiveness or irritation. Careful here, as you might say something you will come to regret. Think before speaking.

If you feel the flight response, you might try to ignore or avoid the question, or agree with something you shouldn’t, just to make it stop. Be careful to stand up for your ideas when challenged but take a moment first to calm yourself.

If you feel the freeze response, you will find you can’t access the information in the heat of the moment. It’s frustrating when you know the answer but it’s just not there for you.

Whatever response arises, the emotional reaction hijacks your higher order thinking. We are never as clear-headed under stress as we are when we are focused and calm. So take a moment. Breathe.

Adrenaline will make you feel you must answer immediately, but it’s ok to take a moment. Breathe. Consider the question before answering it.

If you need to clarify or streamline the question, consider using a Bridge. If not, just move to your answer, being brief and honest. If you don’t know the answer, say so, with an offer to get the information. Then move forward or take another question. Breathe. You’ve got this.